brings you.......
Food for thought, items i've found wich make me think who's crazy, me, you, or them?
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(for UK readers) 
Have the producers of the BBC program "style challenge" ever heard the expression 
"you can't polish a turd" 
 
TOP TIP:
Add adrop of vinegar to old shoe polish, then microwave for 30 seconds. 
hey presto: 
hot vinegary shoe polish.
TOP TIP:
Create your own "televised" firework display simply by placing an array of metal objects in your microwave and turn on to full power.		 Hippies: 
Don't waste your money on expensive lava lamps, just get a torch, hold it behind your bollocks and watch your testicles move about.
Rab C. Nesbit says:
I wasn't conceived, i was cultivated from bacteria on a mutton pie. 
I'm a scorpio, cusping psycho. 
Born just as venus entered the house of mars and stole his video. I have bad dietary habits, the only vegetables I eat are spring onion crisps. 
I have many talents, I have many talents , among them the gift of repetition. I have a mischevious sense of fun, my motto is live and let live and if anybody says different I'll kill the bastard. 
I once had a torrid affair with a well-known filmstar.... 

I think i like Rab - kl
 
 
 
 
You Know, you can'tshow your nipples in America, it's how we feed our children, how we gain pleasurebut you can't show it. 
You can show people getting bombed, but you can't show the whole human body, thats such hypocrisy. 

Helena Christensen. 
 
 
 
 

  
Robbin Williams said once:
If you're going to be totally politically correct, it's like being a styrofoam vibrator:
it doesn't work very well and doesn't stimulate.
and Ayrton Senna said:
If i ever have an accident that eventually costs my life, i hope it's in one go.
And Keith Richards said:
My life has been dedicated to avoiding trouble, so it's pretty funny how much i've run into.		  
 
 
 

Your mum's got nice tits...don't even think about it ..a few things you should never discuss with your girl:

1. Don't mention your bank balance.
2. Don't look at another woman for more than 0.1 of a second.
3. Don't compliment another female
4. Don't tell her that her sister is a pig (even if it's true)
5. Don't suggest a change of attitude.
6. Don't scratch your privates when you're with her.
7. Never tell her she can't drive.
8. Don't take your clothes off in a public place unless she does too.
9. Never tell her how to give a blow job.
10. Never introduce her to a good lawyer.
 
    The dog's bollocks...or why it's great to be a bloke

1. You never get drunk as fast as the girl you're chatting up.
2. You can tell jokes.
3. You get jokes.
4. You can work the video.
5. Taking the piss is perfectly acceptable.
6. You can talk bollocks for hours without anybody picking up on details.
7. Sex can be as quick as you like.
8. You never have to admit not knowing something.
9. Men rule the world
10. and you live in it.....
 

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Not everything on this page was funny granted, however no appologies are made if you are boring or have no sense of humour !!

webmaster Lindsey@bboxbbs.ch